Most people who know me know that I worry a lot. I worry about something happening to my baby. I worry about not having enough money. I worry about my husband finding his dream job. I worry about getting pregnant again. I worry about finding a church that is right for us. And I worry about doing this whole parenting thing right.
I was reading Acts 1 today (from The Message, in case you were wondering). The apostles asked Jesus when He was going to restore the kingdom of Israel. He answered their question with, “You don’t get to know the time. Timing is the Fathers business.” And then it hit me. Duh. I don’t get to know if something is going to happen to Zachariah. I don’t get to know if we are going to stop struggling financially. I don’t get to know when Daniel will find the job of his dreams. I don’t get to know when the “right time” for us to have another child may be. I don’t get to know when we will find a church that we love.
That’s kind of hard for me to grasp. Because the way I look at it, it’s my life. I should be able to have a say in it. I should be able to know what is going on. I should be able to choose the timing of my major life events. But I don’t. And that’s (slowly) becoming ok with me. I guess I need to learn to stop worrying about things I have no control over. I need to realize that if I did have control over those things I would screw it all up. I need to learn to keep my nose out of His business and let Him do things His way.
I hate it when I get slapped in the face like that.
Monday, February 11, 2008
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1 comment:
I completely understand where you are coming from here. It is hard to give the reigns over to God. It is literally a moment-by-moment choice. You can't one day, after years of doing things your own way and worrying about your life, say Okay God I'm done! You take over! At least for me anyway, I can easily go right back to my control-seeking frame of mind. Its tough. But man does the end justify the means. He makes life ten million times better when we let the person who has already seen what will happen, guide us there. Thanks for the reminder Amy Lynn! :)
PS Brian told me you came to visit...I'm sorry I missed you!
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