I cant remember the last time I have listened to the radio with Zachariah in the vehicle. He loves his CD’s, and is usually quite the happy camper in the car as long as they are being played. So I sacrifice my tunes for his mind-numbing alphabet songs so that I have a happy baby. And most of the time I even ignore the strong urge to stab myself in the eye with a sharp utensil due to listing to the SAME TWO CD’S OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Zachariah and I were on our way home from the park today… driving with the windows down and my music cranked up (in case you were wondering, it fluctuates between Rock 103 and Q102) for once. For a moment I completely forgot I was driving a mini-van. I forgot I had a one year old in the backseat. I forgot I was on my way to Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries that we missed earlier this week. For that moment I completely forgot I had any responsibilities whatsoever. I wasn’t stressed or depressed. I wasn’t pissed off at nothing in particular. I didn’t have a care in the world. I actually thought I was eighteen again, on my way to my 2 pm English Lit class. I was absolutely loving this moment. Singing off key to Angel (by Natasha Bedingfield) with the wind blowing through my hair. That moment was perfect.
Then the song ended.
The baby cried.
I pulled into the crowded Wal-Mart parking lot.
I realized I was driving a mini-van instead of my old Nissan.
And I remembered I was a 23 year old mom, not an 18 year old college student.
Darn that reality.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my life now. I wouldn’t change it for anything. But being a mom is difficult and challenging. And because of that, sometimes I miss the college days where I didn’t have a care in the world. And it was nice, if only for a moment, to remember those days.